I’m an introverted, 41-year-old, 4’ 10 ½”, single (by choice) woman, with a background in theater and art, whose never met an international food I didn’t like. I’ve traveled extensively, got degrees and skills I don’t know what to do with, and currently run an embroidery machine for my local sporting goods store. Let’s talk about mental health and Jesus.

I’ve struggled with mental health issues all my life but wasn’t aware that that’s what I’ve been struggling with until about 13 years ago, while I was living in Florida. I’m a contradiction when it comes to a stereotypical troubled childhood that most people who suffer from mental health issues are associated with. When my current, and previous, therapists asked me how my childhood was they were not expecting me to smile and say, “Great!”.

You see, my parents are amazing, loving, and supportive. The childhood trauma that I experienced was bullying, but I still had close friends who I could talk to which allowed me to put that trauma in a box which then conditioned me to do that for every traumatic event for the rest of my life. No one was going to open those boxes and I just wanted to forget.

Rewind to 11 years ago. It’s been a year since I’ve moved back home, I’m in my  5th or 6th therapy session and all the boxes bust open. I’ve got no more space to store all the trauma and my theater training was no longer helping me hide from those emotions. My therapist told me that I could choose to go to a crisis center or choose the hard way. Of course, being the sarcastic person that I am I asked her,  “what’s the hard way?” “Handcuffs”. “I’ll call my parents”.

My Christian upbringing, like most of us who grew up in the church, never talked about mental health or how to deal with those issues. My parents never told me to keep my feelings to myself or that my feelings weren’t valid. Neither of them knew that as an introvert, my times of seclusion were needed in order for me to recharge, and my obsessive/anti-social tendencies were part of something deeper.

I clung to Jeremiah 29:11 and ended up getting it tattooed on my arm because I knew that God had plans for every experience I had faced, and my hope was that one day He would reveal those plans. I knew that in order for me to hear His voice I would need to get help reprocessing those memories that I’d so cleverly kept barricaded behind years of acting, ignoring, and downplaying, as a protective layer.

                It’s not been easy or fun. It’s been frustrating and exhausting but I’m learning. I’m learning that everyone isn’t immune to mental health issues. Some of us struggle more than others but what’s important is that we serve a God who thrives in hostile environments. More specifically, the hostile environment inside my head. None of the Biblical characters were perfect and they definitely struggled with mental health issues, insecurities, and doubt. More importantly, Jesus showed us that everyone needs a savior and no one is immune to being human.